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09 July 2007 @ 09:34 am
i know that im no good.  

i told u i was trouble......
how many times will i come back to u journal.
your paper brother will never fully satisfy me .
again im in one of those horrible,
prescription waranting states..

why is it that i can nev.er let myself be happy?
i continually live a self full-filling profecy. its like being happy is too much for me to handle or sojmething.
rite now tho its bad again. i dont now how. all the old demons are crawling back. i guess that would explain why im here. im not ready to explain it yet, but they are ALL back with avengance.
the sad thing is that im with a guy now who i have so many feelings for. .....i cant bear to hurt him or allow him to see me...atmy worst.

ahh, so much for that.

i appologize.


inside your head: contemplativecontemplative