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01 August 2007 @ 09:43 pm
ode to insecurity  
lets be honest ....the only reason i write here is because i write the things that i usually will never say.
you are the little voice in the back of my head.
insecure. if i do say so myself.
so.
im leaving for greece is about 9 days.
excited.
but what is naggling at my little voice is this:
i get cagey when things are going well.
[as i sit on my laptop, sipping vodka, rockstar and pomegranate]
i have learned recently that the girl my current boyfriend was seeing about a year ago is having relationship problems with her fiance.
the fiance she cheated on, with my boyfriend [we were obviously not together at the time, we've been together 4 about 5 months].
so she spilled her heart to him about it.
so granted, when things went wrong i ran to the guy i had dated for 2 years to talk to him about it in the past.
ahhh hypocrite again.
but. i only wonder . not that he would leave me for her, but would she offer herself to him, looking for solace/familiarity?
im more jealous than i thought i guess.
i dont blame her for going to him.
i dont blame him for listening.
nothing "wrong" has gone on.
i'd liek to think i trust him, as much as i can.
but i still feel.....iky.